Quirky Dorset

Worry not, this is not some ghastly Victorian workhouse adoption centre, but instead was the place to show off the skills of one of Georgian Dorset’s pre-eminent construction firms. The unfortunately-named Bastard Brothers was a family firm of builders, carvers, furniture makers (and, as is still seen in Dorset, occasional funeral directors) and experts in decorative plasterwork. The brothers, John & William Bastard of Blandford Forum, were not illegitimate; their father, Thomas Bastard, who had founded the firm, was married to the sister of Thomas Creech  (classicist, sometime Headmaster of Sherborne School, and Fellow of All Souls ).  But presumably one of their ancestors had been, and the name stuck. The brothers’ big moment came in 1731, when Blandford Forum burned to the ground and the Bastards were hired to rebuild most of the centre.  The result forms a delightful town centre, described by Pevsner (generally a hard man to please) as “one of the most satisfyi...

Take a trip to the Dorset Museum * to see a monument to Dorset civilisation and a symbol of the county's place at the forefront of human progress - the Moule lavatory. No, this is nothing to do with the toxic aftermath of eating mussels, but was the invention of   Rev. Henry Moule (1801 - 1880), vicar of Fordington (now a suburb of Dorchester, but previously a separate village and its own Liberty). During the mid nineteenth century cholera outbreaks, Rev. Moule not only cared for his parishioners but also bent his mind to how to improve their situation, and so invented the ‘dry earth closet’. Dry earth and/or ash was loaded into the hopper.  Once one had done one’s business into the bucket, pulling the handle at the bottom (if I may) of the hopper would dispense a layer of fine earth to cover the detritus.  This prevented contamination and smells, and encouraged it to decompose.  Once full, the contents of the bucket could be hygienically buried, probably in the veg...

The font at St. Basil’s church, Toller Fratrum, is one of the most fascinatingly odd things in Dorset. No-one knows what it represents (there are plenty of theories, but your own guess is likely to be just as good), or how it got there, or even how old it is (1066 is usually a good dividing line in England, but experts can’t even agree whether this is Saxon or Norman). It is said that the artist John Piper was interested in it, to the point that he would talk excitedly about it to friends over dinner and then insist on immediately driving them the 100+ miles from his home in Oxfordshire to see it, arriving in the early hours of the morning.  In my book that’s not ‘interested’; that’s ’obsessed’. Just what is going on here?  There seems to be a sloth climbing a tree in the middle (pretty sure there are no sloths in the Bible), and a strange creature with two bodies but only one head at the top, balancing on pillars.  Your guess is not only as good as mine, but for this one...